Becoming the person you want to be: Part one, starting at the beginning


As a life coach, Jane Knight has a lot of experience when it comes to changing the path of your life. With a little inspiration and a lot of determination, she knows that anyone can achieve real change.

My Family Care asks Jane: Even those of us who are happy with who we are, have fleeting thoughts about what we could achieve if we were something or someone different. How can we become the person we want to be?

The big, scary question
Having coached and trained over a thousand clients, I have met many different characters with so many skills. One common theme that runs throughout almost all of the clients is hesitation when I ask the big question: “what would you like to achieve?”

Why, as humans, do we find it so daunting? Is it genuinely not knowing? Is it the fear of what we might not achieve? Is it feeling overwhelmed at the many possibilities? I suspect it’s a mixture of all these, along with not quite knowing how to get there or where to start.
At Successful Mums we’ve learned to ask big questions and work backwards.

I always find it easier to use examples
My client Eve wanted to start her own business so that it provided flexibility around the school holidays. Ideally, she wanted to work with numbers as she is very organised and excelled at maths. She had always had the desire to start out on her own but wasn’t sure where to start. People in this position usually end up working for someone else, rather than following their dreams.

After a few conversations, a lot of soul searching, and even a few tears, her goal to become a flexible bookkeeper, providing a specific income for her family with flexibility, was possible.

How was she going to get there?
The steps:

  • Identify any barriers and how they could be removed
  • Make a plan of action with dates. This included meeting with at least 5 bookkeepers, finding out the good, the bad, and the ugly (this is also great when making long term contacts)

The result:

  • Eve re-trained as a bookkeeper, has a part time job with an accountant to gain experience and already has 5 of her own clients. All part of her plan!
  • With Eve’s planning, vision and, most importantly, action taking, she is on her way to achieving her goals and being the person she wants to be.

My advice for becoming who you want to be is to sit back, think, develop a plan, and then break it down into small tasks that can be achieved. Keep working at it. Change takes time, so ask yourself ‘what person would I like to be this time next year?’